Statistically significant insults for the soul: p < 0.05

Statistically significant insults for the soul: p < 0.05

Author’s forward

There are days in which a scientist finds herself needing to express her “mean genes.” When an experimental control fails, when Reviewer 3 sinks a paper, when someone drinks the last cup of communal coffee and fails to make more, the time has come to use a scientifically accurate and statistically significant insult. Simply insert your target’s name(s) and enjoy. Readers beware, what follows may cause Impostor’s Syndrome.

 Unvalidated research sponsored by the for profit Anti-Insult Foundation of America.


  1. You are a lissencephalic australopithecus.

     

    Illustration by Bailey Peck

  2. At the top of the bell curve, are you?

    Illustration by Bailey Peck


  3. You are a few edges short of a node.

     

    Illustration by Bailey Peck

  4. You spend a bit too much time in G0.

     

    Illustration by Bailey Peck

  5. You are the forgotten semicolon.

     

    Illustration by Bailey Peck


Peer edited by Marissa Cann
Many thanks to the Sethupathy Lab for the Insult Brainstorming Session!

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